I hear that over and over again, so I'd
like to give wannabe writers some encouragement. I think a big part of their
problem is that they expect the first words they put on paper to glow with
perfection. I'm a big believer in what Anne Lamott calls "the Shitty First
Draft", so I thought I'd share my first draft attempt at a few paragraphs
from my September 3rd release, Necessary
Lies.
Necessary
Lies is my 22nd novel, and I've been using the Shitty First Draft
method a very long time. The book is set
in 1960 rural North Carolina and is the story of a young, green social worker named
Jane and her fifteen-year-old client, Ivy. As Jane discovers the secrets in
Ivy's life, she's thrown into a moral dilemma that jeopardizes both her job and
her marriage. Ivy is one of my all-time favorite characters and it was immense
fun writing from her point of view.
I keep all the drafts of my novels
as I write. Below I'm going to show you a paragraph and the road it traveled
from Shitty First Draft to the final form you'll find in the book. I hope it
encourages those of you who think you need perfection right off the bat.
In this scene, Nurse Ann, the public
health nurse, is visiting Ivy. Ann is concerned that Ivy might be having sex (she
is) and she wants to give her contraception. Ivy's seventeen-year-old sister
Mary Ella already has a child. The scene is written from Ivy's first person
point of view.
***
First
Draft
Nurse Ann showed up with
contraceptives. "Open this bag."
I opened it up and pulled out a box
of spermicidal jelly.
"This kills sperm. Sperm comes
from the boy and makes babies."
"I know that."
"And this is what you use to
get it inside you." She pulled a long tube from the bag.
"I need to sweep the
yard," I said.
"You need to stay right here,"
she said.
She opened the bag again and brought
out Trojans. "These are rubbers," she said. "The boy wears
these. They're even more protective than the jelly."
"You mean protection from
having a baby?"
"That's right."
"I don't need these things. You
should talk to Mary Ella. She's gonna get pregnant again any day."
"Mary Ella's not your business.
These things are for you and you can have more if you need them."
Why
was she giving me this stuff instead of Mary Ella. I'd told Mary Ella the boy
should pull out to have no babies, but she ignored me as usual.
Pretty
shitty, huh?
Okay,
here's a draft about halfway to the final.
Middle
Draft
Nurse Ann opened her bag in her lap.
"I have some things here for you," she said, handing me a paper bag.
I opened it up and pulled out a box
that said spermicidal jelly on the
side.
"You don't eat this kind of
jelly," she said. "It kills sperm. Sperm comes from the boy and
that's what makes babies."
"I know that."
"Now here"—she opened the
box and pulled out a long tube—"you use this to put the jelly inside you."
She said how to do that and I knew my cheeks was red.
She reached in the bag one more time
and brought out little packages that said Trojan
on them. "These are rubbers," she said. "The boy puts these on.
They're more protective than the jelly."
"You mean protection from
having a baby?"
"That's right."
I handed the bag back to her.
"I don't need none of this. Mary Ella's the one you should be talkin' to."
"I'm not worried about Mary
Ella right now. I'm worried about you."
"I ain't doing nothing.
"Well, just in case, I want you
to have these things and I can bring you more if you ever need more."
I
didn't know why she wasn't giving these things to Mary Ella. I'd give them to
her myself. I'd told Mary Ella about pulling out to have no more babies, but
she ignored me as usual.
And
the final draft, where I show more of Ivy's emotions.
Final
Draft
Nurse Ann opened the medical bag in
her lap. "I have some things here for you," she said, handing me a
paper bag. "Look inside and I'll explain how you use them."
I opened it up and pulled out a box
that said spermicidal jelly on the
side.
"This is not the kind of jelly
you eat," she said. "It kills sperm. Sperm comes from the boy and
that's what makes babies."
"I know that." I wished I
was someplace else.
"Now here"—she opened the
box and pulled out a long tube—"is the applicator you use to insert the
jelly in your vagina." She went into a long description of how to do that
and I knew my cheeks was red, listening to her. This talk was turning out worse
than I expected.
She reached in the bag one more time
and brought out little packages that said Trojan
on them. "These are rubbers," she said. "The boy puts these on.
They're more protective than the jelly. And the best protection is using both
of them together."
"You mean protection from
having a baby?" I wished she'd speak plain.
"That's right."
I handed the bag back to her.
"I don't need none of this. Mary Ella's the one you should be talkin' to.
She already got herself a baby and any day she's gonna end up with another for
sure."
"I'm not worried about Mary
Ella right now. I'm worried about you."
"No need to be. I ain't doing
nothing."
"Well, just in case, I want you
to have these things and I can bring you more if you ever need more."
I
didn't know why she wasn't giving these things to Mary Ella. I'd give them to
her myself. I'd told Mary Ella about the pulling out to be a way to have no
more babies, and she just looked off into the blue yonder the way she always
did, like she didn't hear a word I said.
So,
there you have it, from first draft to actual book. I hope it encourages you to
put your story on paper. And I hope you'll pick up a copy of Necessary Lies. Author Dorothea Benton
Frank calls it "the most important book Diane Chamberlain has ever
written". I look forward to hearing your thoughts about it as well.
8 comments:
Diane, Welcome Back! I LOVE this!!! It's so hard for me to remember this - I guess I "know" it, but am still having a very difficult time practicing it and just getting the words down for that first shi##y draft and then moving ahead.
p.s. - LOVED NECESSARY LIES!!!!!!!!! Dorothea Benton Frank was spot on with her blurb, "Diane Chamberlain’s Necessary Lies is the most important book she has ever written."
Thank you, Kaye. When I feel stuck in the writing, I still have to remind myself that putting anything on paper is better than nothing!
Very interesting. Ivy certainly is more alive in the last section. I'm not a writer, but I love learning about it anyway.
Diane, I had to stop by Kaye's wonderful M&M not only because I am a longtime fan of your work--THE MIDWIFE'S CONFESSION was an especial favorite of mine--but also because I just yesterday had breakfast with a friend of yours at a lodge in South Dakota! I'm an author, too, and when this woman heard what I did, she asked if I knew your work, and I was able to say that I more than knew it! I wish I could remember her name, but apparently her daughter is the real connection. Anyway, small world, and thanks for your wonderful books, and to Kaye, for bringing you over to M&M!
I wonder who it was, Jenny? Thanks for letting me know about that fun connection, though. Glad you're enjoying my books!
As I sit procrastinating before writing an opening for my first novel, to take to my first proper writers' group meeting, this post was very timely! I've finished reading Necessary Lies and loved it, and hope my novel can have even a fraction of the emotional impact of yours. Thanks for sharing your drafts.
emmyleigh, you can always tell your group that your opening is still in its shitty first draft mode and then they can't really tear it apart. :)
Disneyland you for your words of wisdom. I know for me, I need all the encouragement I can get. You are so kind and caring to talk to your fan and give us a look into your process. I shared this my daughter in law.
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