Today I am 71

Happy Birthday to me!

I got some new rose-gold curls for my birthday, thanks to my favorite hair stylist/colorist ever - Ellie Miller of Shear Shakti in Boone, NC.  I love her to the moon and back!


AND - I love my new color. 



I was going to "touch up" my pic a little; you know, that thing people do to their photos so they look a little younger . . .


Smooth out a few wrinkles


Cover up a few freckles and age spots


Take away a pound or two


Life those eyes and that chin


Use that ol' airbrush tool!  


But decided that's just silly.


Because . . . 


I'm 71


And as soon as you see me in person the first thing you would think to yourself is "that's not what she looks like in her pictures!"


I know!  Because I've said it myself! 


But - aging isn't something our society accepts of us graciously, unfortunately.


Especially if you're a woman.


You might hear someone say, "oh, . . .  (whatever whatever add your own words) just some old woman."


And then when called on will respond with the declaration that "old" was just being used as a descriptor, not an insult.


Uh huh.


Then why not just leave it out? 


And say, "oh, . . .  (whatever whatever add your own words) just some woman."


Know what I mean?  See how different that sounds?


Or, "oh, . . .  (whatever whatever add your own words) just some  [nice/mean]  or  [funny/grumpy]  or [helpful/useless]  woman."


WHY "old" when there are other words easily used as "descriptors" that actually do say what you mean?


I'm sure people just don't think.  And so that makes it okay.


Right?


Whatever.


And here's the thing.  


Do I mind being 71? 

 No.


Do I mind getting older?  

 No.


What I DO mind is that "old" is tossed out as something really bad.  


Remember J.K. Rowling asking, " … is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'?"


So, here's me, K.W. Barley asking, "  ...is 'old' the worst thing we can be?   Is 'old' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'?""


No.


At least I don't think so.


But, in addition to all those words Ms. Rowling mentions, I add "rude."

Yeah - that's one of the worst things you can be.


Unthinkingly rude?  Well, that's forgivable . . .   unless you try to walk back the unthinkingly rude mistake by attempting to paint yourself as a victim and arguing the point like kicking some dead horse.  An argument you lost before it started.  Then?  Forgivable?  Nah.  Maybe.   . . . not so much.


And those of you who keep referring to yourself as "old?"  Honey, quit doing that.  It just sounds dumb. 

"Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me . . ."