Today

It's snowing.

This is my favorite view from our little house.

It's the view from our bed.

It's where I like to sit and read.

And drink coffee.

And stare out this window.

And think.


I have done a lot of thinking from this particular spot over the past 24 years.


It was snowing the first night we spent here, and we've seen a lot of snow since.


Admittedly, when we were both still working, I had some choice words for snowy days when we had to get up and go out on sometimes scary roads to get to work.  Especially because our little mountain road was often missed or forgotten by the road crews who were out plowing.

These days if they miss or forget to plow our road we sometimes don't notice.


We've grown older.


We've grown wiser.


We've grown more appreciative of smaller things.


Sitting on our bed watching the snow fall as Donald lights some candles because he knows how much I enjoy them is one of those small things.


I love my life.  And I feel quite blessed.

But.

Today I am sad.


I think of those candles as candles being lit for remembrance of losses.


In my heart I believe we have lost the country we once had.  The democracy we were once so proud of - that our forefathers fought so hard for.

I think if we, as a democratic society, fight hard enough we might get it back.  But I don't think it will be easy, and I don't think it will be quickly.


I think our own government is responsible and besides making me sad, it frightens me, and it angers me.


And I fear this could be the beginning of an era that the history books will show in a light that will not be kind - no soft candlelight for this era of an ignorant  cruel administration busy lining their own pockets with special interest money while its citizens have to work more than one job to make ends meet and pay their rent, and have to choose between food and medication because there's not enough money for both.  Who go without doctor's care because they can't afford it.  All this while thousands of migrant children are still in cages. 

So.  These are thoughts I'm having as I sit on our bed and watch the snow.


It's beautiful and it comforts me.


I pretend I'm in a snow globe.  Turn it over and the flurries fly.

Put it back on the shelf and the snow settles.


Sadly, the problems that plague me and others do not settle.


November is not that far away.  Will people vote?  Will our votes count?  


Will corrupt people be voted out of office?


Will sanity and kindness be returned?


Will I sit in this spot on Wednesday, November 4, 2020 feeling relieved about election results?

Will it be snowing?


Time will tell.


In the meantime, I will allow myself some time to grieve for what I think we've lost.  

And then I will get back up and I will continue speaking out and raising my voice and hope that others will not allow themselves to fall into the complacency that will allow the spineless group of Republicans who chose party and a tin pot wannabe dictator over country to continue.  

Vote them out.

Vote them out.

Vote them out.