Where am I and What am I Doing?

Like so many, I'm just not doing so great right now.

The battle of feeling the need to know what's happening versus maintaining positive mental health is challenging.

Honestly, I'm scared.

Scared that things are going to go completely off the rails once the next administration takes over.

Scared.

I never imagined a time would come when feeling scared would be my new default setting.

And it's pissing me off.

So what AM i doing?

I continue to read articles by smart, knowledgeable people to gain understanding. 

And comfort.

 Understanding is knowledge.  

Sadly, knowledge does not always equate comfort so my search takes me down different paths.

My comfort lane includes writings by Connie Schultz and Anne Lamott.

My knowledge lane includes Heather Cox Richardson and Sherrilyn Ifill, among others.  Many others.

I'm searching out novels for escape, and have stumbled into a few jewels that allowed me a much needed escape.

My non-fiction includes some much-loved old standbys; mostly essays and poetry.

And I've pulled out my art books so I'm able to stroll through Monet's gardens, disappear into Rothko's color fields, and pretend I'm wandering though Paris museums.

I'm baking cakes, making pots of soup and spaghetti sauce.  I'm eating everything within reach.

I'm rearranging furniture like a woman possessed.

I'm throwing old stuff away, wondering "what is this and why is it here?"

Placing boxes of stuff at the top of the stairs to go to the storage building. (Not wearing my hearing aids so I'm unable to hear Donald's grumbles about what the hell . . .).

 

I am, come hell or high water, going to hold tight to my beliefs and values, remembering these words:

“We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must - at that moment - become the center of the universe.”

― Elie Wiesel

And, dammit, I am fighting to hold onto my dreams.

My heart might be breaking, but I'm going to fight for healing.

Banksy

I am NOT giving in - they are NOT stealing my joy.

I am going to

Remember this!

And try, always, to do this

we are in this together.

Sadly, I'm afraid there are some people out there who are not yet aware of just exactly what they voted for, and what's in store for all of us